Telestial Potions
by TheVeryCheesyAuthor
Summary: Dolores Umbridge had loved Tom Riddle for decades– more specifically, a love potion that Dolores drank had made her fall in love with Voldemort. Harry, Hermione, and Ron has troubles fighting both of them at the same time.
1. Chapter 1

" I am the newly appointed Senior Undersecretary of The Ministry of Magic, Dolores Umbridge."

The stout young pink woman proudly stated the mouthful of words to the woman. The witch blinked once and shrugged, taking out a pencil and a small notepad.

" What would you want, oh great Dolores?"

Umbridge scrunched her nose and pointed at the heart shaped mug in the picture with brown and _pink_ swirls. She snorted and giggled as she tried to pronounce the name to herself.

" The pink lady would like the Muggle's Love's Affair Latte!"

Dolores folded her hands in her lap, humming to herself. It had been a good day, especially after she had bought those kitten plates. After that, she had been appointed as the Senior Undersecretary for Cornelius Fudge.

A waitress bowed to her and brought the frothy, pink, and delicious beverage to her.

It had been an amazing day, and the Latte was swirled with just enough pink. After a sip, she grinned in delight. It was creamy yet very softening. She would have to try more muggle foods and drinks from then on.

" You messed this drink up!"

" I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean to put the real love potion in it!"

The head chef stormed angrily to him, " Didn't mean to? Of course you did! Now the poor woman will be hopelessly in love if someone if they left even a single hair in her drink!"

" Sir, it was an accident, I swear!"

" That was expensive to buy and make! You wasted the entire bottle on it, and she didn't even pay for any of it. Now the effects will last a century, give or take a decade or two!"

The apprentice chef with silky onyx hair backed slowly into the restaurant.

Just then, the man with black hair and snake like eyes hit her table with his hip and groaned in pain. A strand of his hair fell in Dolores's cup of latte.

" I'm so incredibly sorry, ma'am." The man said.

Dolores lifted her angry eyes from the cup of tea, but she wasn't able to insult him. Her breath hitched and her heart stopped. In front of her, was the most beautiful man he had ever seen. His eyes were the perfect shade of _red._

" I-It's alright, what's y-your name?" Dolores stuttered out.

" Tom Riddle, m'lady." He bowed down.

" That's such a brave name.." She purred out just like a cat.

Tom bristled with anger. How dare this woman call his father's name courageous? He was anything but brave for leaving his weak mother. He forced a friendly smile before hustling away.

Dolores sighed with happiness and continued to sip her tea. After drinking the creamy essence, she found a strand of hair in it. She giggled childishly and lavishly tried to suck the juices off the hair.

" Oh my it's Tom's hair... He must want me to find him again. Oh that little minx!"

She cast a tracking spell on the small piece of hair and smirked. The woman carefully put it in her jacket's pocket slit and handled it as if it were a newborn babe.

" Let the games begin, Tom."


	2. Chapter 2

Dolores tapped her wand gently against the-boy-who-lived's head and giggled. It was fun and absolutely pleasing to tease and torture these students as she wished.

The headmaster looked upon her and started to open his mouth when Harry's scars reopened from Dolores's medival punishments.

" Remember, Albus dear, that I am the Senior Undersecretary of The Ministry of Magic and I have been appointed to teach these students the _proper_ way to use magic and defend against their imaginary dark enemies."

The pink toad smiled as Dumbledore sighed dejectedly and looked upon the miserable students taking their OWLs.

Suddenly, she felt a tingle go through her spine and butterflies in her stomach. Dolores looked around for the source and zeroed in on a green eyed boy with black hair.

It had to be him who was causing it, after all, Harry's scar was connected to Tom Riddle.

Umbridge had to stop herself from touching his scar, she was _so_ incredibly close to her soul mate. Even the young boy's eyes reminded her of him. The witches and wizards were wrong, his eyes were not the shade of his mother's anymore.

They were the shade of the unforgivable curse that Voldemort would throw around with glee. They were the shade that would cause death and destruction. They were the shade of him...

Tom Riddle, her true love.

The love potion was only strengthening the one way bond between Tom and Dolores. She had fallen in love without knowing anything and made it her new obsession to collect fragments and pictures of him, abandoning the poor cats she had once stuffed and put on display.

" Professor Umbridge, I am finished."

She looked down from her daydream in disgust. The Weasley brat had awoken her and she grunted before taking his test.

" Have a nice day, Ronald Bilius Weasley."

Dolores Umbridge wandered through the woods, being carried by centaurs. She felt Tom Riddle so close it almost hurt. One of the horsemen felt the connection and stopped in fear.

" I believe we have something terrible that may or may not happen," A silver backed centaur dreamily stated.

" Alas, we must abandon this woman for she carries a curse..."

" Let us go now without the human, my prophetic friends, before misfortune is bestowed upon us."

With a plop, the centaurs dropped the heavy woman and galloped away. Dolores had caught sections of what they said.

" ...Thank god she bought that, I couldn't keep the act anymore..."

" ...Yeah, I know right, lol. She was such a heavy toad I felt like my back broke."

" ...Guys let's hit up DJ Unicorn, I'm feeling the beat, yeah!"

The tattered woman got up and shouted, " Accio broom!"

Just moments later, a battered and old Cleansweep, which would've made the Weasley Twin's brooms seem like the Firebolt in comparison, came up to the Senior Undersecretary of The Ministry of Magic and exhausted smoke.

" Up!" She rode the tooting broom to wherever her feelings led her to, " Tom Riddle I'm coming to you!"

"So you smashed my prophecy?" said Voldemort softly, staring at Harry with those pitiless red eyes. "No, Bella, he is not lying. . . . I see the truth looking at me from within his worth– ** _achoo_**!"

A high pitched sneeze rang out and ended as a clandestine note that Bellatrix and Harry stared at awe with. Bellatrix immediately took her eyes off when Voldemort's crimson eyes glared at them.

" M-Master," Bellatrix stammered, " Does my lord need a tissue?"

" M-Master, that was a very manly sneeze." Harry imitated Bellatrix's voice to the exact tone and pitch," Someone must be talking to you with your real name. Did you know there's superstition that if you talk behind someone's back it causes the person being talked about to sneeze?"

Just then, Dolores Umbridge came tumbling in with a smoking broom that burst into flames from going at speeds higher than broomly and humanly possible. She squealed and waved.

" Oh Tommy!"

Bellatrix was shocked and she stammered, " H-How dare you call my lord with such a vulgar name? You must apologize and be murdered at once!"

" Do you know who I am?" Dolores shrieked, "I am the Senior Undersecretary of The Ministry of Magic! You shall bow and apologize to me for talking at such an unrespectful tone."

Harry was choking with hidden laughter that threatened to explode by the minute as the women bickered. However, on the other hand, the Dark Lord was gasping and his face paled until it was almost like white out.

" Y-You! I-It's the vile creature!" Voldemort cried out.

Dolores smirked, " Oh you little vixen, playing hard to get are we? Come here, love!"

" Bellatrix, get me out at once at all costs! I don't care about how many troops you use, just get me out!"

" Y-Yes, my lord."

Voldemort suddenly screamed and wrung his hands around, panicking.

" My lord, are you alright?" Bellatrix said.

" Why can't I apparate!" Voldemort yelled.

Umbridge giggled at her cute little Dark Lord that was scrambling to get out. She had closed all the networks except for floo so her love and she could spend more time together. Harry's mouth twitched upwards.

" It's okay now, Tommy, we can express our forbidden love together forever!"

Dumbledore's mouth fell open as he watched this scene through a crystal ball, his eyes twinkling madly. He had been terrified just a minute ago because he couldn't reach Harry when Dolores put the barriers up.

Now he felt a tinge of pity for Voldemort, who was flailing around as the ex-Defense against the Dark Arts teacher tried to advance onto him, puckering her poufy and cracked lips into a pouty kiss.

" Please, release me!" Tom screeched, unlike himself.

Harry still had a boiling rage that could chase away a thousand hyenas. Bellatrix Lestrange, a cousin of the Blacks', had killed Sirius Black, his godfather, and she was going to pay with her life.

He gripped his wand tightly and exhaled. He was going to cast the worse of all curses, Avada Kedavra, the ultimate end.

" Don't do something you'll regret, Harry!" Dumbledore's grandfatherly voice shook the area.

He appeared in front of Harry as a shield when everyone stopped. Even Dolores stopped squealing. Suddenly, the Ministry appeared and yelled at the sight of the Dark Lord... Swatting away a fat pink toad.

" The wards are down! Bellatrix get me out before she lands her disgusting fingers and lips upon my body! Now!" Voldemort screeched and disappeared.

Harry still stood shell shocked, nodding at the reporters' questions and moved his jaw, saying just one sentence.

" Professor Umbridge is the secret weapon to defeating Voldemort..."


End file.
